Politics and Politicians go hand in hand

So I just got back from the debate held by ASNMC and man oh man I admire a few of the candidates they really know how to cater to the young adults. Come on lets tell them what they wanna hear. Lets say more money for the college but what do they do? Vote against the college budget. Lets talk about public safety, hmm more money for the cops, but how? Oh I don't know why not reduce the amount of incompetant idiots in capital hill and staff in the executive and legislative offices. Jeeze we all know that it is expensive to run for office, do you all honestly think that the people funding the trip on this campaign trail won't be compensated. So one candidate said "its who you know, not what you know". As if, I wonder who will be in his cabinet or be a special advisor to governor? Like we all don't know. Come on now? I am so annoyed how things run here in the cnmi that I won't even start on most topics. The things that matter is definitely DOCTORS for CHC, MONEY for the COLLEGE and JOBS for the GRADUATES! Thats it! Not like taxes.

I am ok...

Last night was a rather strange but alright night.

It kicked off with me and my good buddy patiently waiting for my mom to finish getting and head out to the christening party.

It was great, I enjoyed myself. I was soo happy to see all the people who came out to celebrate Kiki becoming a catholic. Good Job Byron and Mona! Congratulations Kiki!

While at the party I was kinda on edge, considering I knew nobody but my Kumaire and Kumpaire and their families there. Luckily I had company with me. It was good, I will admit when it comes to that, and carrying the baby I am a chicken fagget but yea lol.

I met up with my candidate for the CNMI senate and man oh man did we have a great conversation. I was impressed with her passion towards our students and willingness to assist the college kids gain extra skills that they would need in getting their foot through the door. We both agreed that it is a dog eat dog world out there, and preparation is the way to make sure our grads don't get eaten alive.

On to the rest of the night...

I appreciate my friend Jenenerz going with us to the party, but aii sus her minor little joke got me in trouble. Its ok, my friend is more important.

Ha ha so then we met with more friends later that night, who wanted company, hung around while they did laundry and then back home.

Weird and totally random night, but I got to spend time with people I like hanging around with and we got to celebrate Kiki. yay

so til the next journey...

~ nina Janel

would you?

Many times we get burned, or someone lets us down, or just bad luck.

I have a question. If you knew ahead of time the outcome of whatever it is you had decided on, whether it was awesome or just plain, well suckish, would you still do it?

many of us say I don't know. But sometimes the memories on that bumpy path is worth the heart ache and pain. Right?

Lighting that match to start that fire is still exciting. So play with caution, but still enjoy.

1 2 3....GO!!!!

When I was a freshman in High School I had a video camera attached to my head. My passion and love of my life was video editing and directing. I loved it soo much I would lose sleep over it.

When I moved to Hawaii, slowly my passion faded and my love was replaced by my first love. It was gone in a heartbeat the person who I thought I was no longer was awake. Sleeping for a little over a decade. I had forgotten how much it made me happy to watch and show off the latest production.

12 years later... the monster has awaken.

Now the creative and obsessive me is slowly coming back to show the world how things are seen through my eyes.

I have produced the very first of future many videos as seen and told through me to you.

So look out because I will give it one more try... wish me luck!!!

lights, camera, ACTION!

The people you meet on this jourmey....

some stay permanent and some just come in, do their damage and walk out, never hearing from them again. But, the best ones are the ones who have an impact with wonderful, life altering, pointing you in the right direction results....

I see it as the people you come across on this path and the people who walk with you some of the way play a role on who you are.

We all have people like that bring wonderful memories and sadly, some leave scars of remembrance.

Its ok.... thats life.

I think its awesome! Cherish every moment that you smile, because you know what? You can never redo it again.

Step Back and Just Observe

I have always been the one who just watches. I notice every little thing around me.

A couple of days ago I went to the beach with 2 close friends and as I was in the water I kept my eyes on the horizon. It was almost sunset and as I was going farther away from the shore, I really couldn't help but think how lucky I am to be able to enjoy this everyday. I get to jump into the pacific ocean whenever I want to. Life is good.

ever wonder?

about what your going to end up as?

about which path your life will follow?

who you will meet on this journey?

did you map out the trails you will take?

maybe just live your life walking the path of destiny?

..... I do.

Cherry Chatting

its entertaining. When I am bored as fuck here in the library I go and see what the cherry chatters are up to that minute ha ha.

Yessir I am bored now.

so yea I've been back

Man oh man has it been crazy!

The only thing I miss about Hawaii is my friend Cil. No other bitch would tell me straight out when I am fucking up. ha ha Chica Rocks!

So whats been up since I have been back?

Well I was a godmother in a christian dedication. Us catholics call it a baptism christians call it a dedication and man it is soooo bad ass!

No oils and water. No ritual prayer. no candles either. Just letting the parents understand their responsibilities to their baby and us godparents' role to help them. duuudddeee there were sooo manny godparents to begin with. This child will hit the jackpot on christmas ha ha.

So another thing that happened since I have been back is the wanna be typhoon. eh as if you could call it a typhoon. It was just a fart with alot rain. uh ewwwww!

Other than that is all work and play. I have been hanging out with my friends and enjoying this tiny little rock in the pacific. So that it for now.

Til the next journey.....

WOW! talk about an eye opener

About an hour after posting my previous post my good friend Cecile tells me I sound arrogant and spoiled and that my blogs are depressing. I LOVE THAT! Thank you Cil for the honesty. I appreciate honesty from people I care about and oppinions matter.

I have been bitter at times but hey I got my reasons. I have become callous to the words of certain people.

But anyways, wow Cil is not the only person who was honest with me. I welcome it. Thank you! From now I will try and be more upbeat and possitive. Take care =D

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. ~Author Unknown

These days humility is rare.

I still get shocked when I come across someone who is humble. In my immediate bloodline pride and arrogance is the majority. Humility is a word that is unknown. Recently I made friends who are truly good people and it is refreshing to be around them.

Throughout my life the idea "the whole world revolves around me" is how I lived. I mean come on my parents gave me what I wanted when I wanted. Til this day I still get that. My mother whipped out the plastic and bought a brand new toshiba the newest model at bestbuy. I am appreciative and I didn't ask for the laptop she just kept insisting I pick one out. My parents dropped cash whenever they wanna say "thank you" and "I'm sorry".

So when I got my job I met people from all walks of life. Some spoiled rotten, some arrogant, and some truly humble. The ones I choose to be around are the humble ones. Don't get me wrong I am not snobbing anyone, I just really enjoy the time with those who think money doesn't matter, and just want to spend time with their friends. I learned alot in the past 6 months. The Cherries til this day shock me. I am miles away and their friendship, loayalty and consideration is amazing. I envy their closeness and friendship. I have close friends, people I know will be in my life til my last breathe, but at times I envy what the TLC have. They are a unique group and I thank god that these people walked into my life.

I am slowly dispossing of the toxic in my life, although I hate to say it that I can't turn my back on some people.

I believe that I have changed and will continue to in the right direction. The arrogance and lack of humility still lingers. I apologize to those of you who see that, please forgive me.

smiling

Today is the 4th of july here in Hawaii. I woke up bitchier than ever. Haha well that time of the month again. The bitchyness went away as soon as I picked up my blackberry and read the email from Ninerz (the nickname for my godmother). Yay the college got reaffirmed and from the tone of her email I could tell she was happy as if I could hear her reading it out loud =D. Hearing from the Ninerz always makes my day.She is a fun writer. What a wonderful way to kick off the day.

Then as I check facebook read the messages then on to my text messages man one day my bffs and I will be admitted into the psych ward. Next on the morning ritual are the rest of the emails. *sigh* the emails bring fun good news and sometimes words from a broken record. Jeeze another way to nag me and a reminder why some people needed to be dismissed from my life.

Another thing that made this a good day in paradise is I talked to the cool and eccentric Jenen. She gave me good advice to do the right thing. Which I will, no more being shady with the good people in my life.

Like said earlier my bffs and I will occupy the psych ward at chc. Lol. If I was to talk about the bffs here boy oh boy will the doctors come after each one of us. Haha group therapy... Wait can we be charged if the doctors commit suicide after sessions with me and the bffs?! Hee hee

The reason behind this blog is keep in touch with loved ones and never take those who matter for granted.

I won't ever take those you matter to me for granted. Or the places I love.

CONGRATULATIONS NMC on your reaffirmation. Biba NMC! Go Proas!!!

cliche paradise

I guess Honolulu is paradise to those people whole don't get the ocean breeze who don't get to walk out and feel the heat of the sun who want to have summer all year round who want the commercial
tropical paradise as if in those sunblock commercials. If that's what you want you want well then pack your bags and trot your happy self to these little pebbles in the pacific.
I'm fortunate I come from a true paradise still raw where the locals don't have to fight for the land or struggle to keep the language alive.

I will be home soon. I love my little island its me. I won't say that I won't ever leave again. As the saying goes "home is where the heart is".

I feel guilty that its in the back of my head that one day Saipan will be a vacation spot for me. But the people in your life is part of your home. They hold a spot in your heart. For now I'm happy. Saipan is home. I'm just saying you never know the scale could tip.

2 weeks today in Hawaii

So its been 2 weeks since I arrived here in Honolulu. Its not fun, to be honest I am miserable here. Thank goodness my psycho friend Cecile is here. Anyways, it gets really boring, and staying in a hotel room, on a floor jam packed with patients, man dude it aint fun at all.

I'm homesick, I'm bored, and I just really miss people.

All in all my mom is doing good, losing some weight and finally understanding what to do to succeed on this path to recovery.

So my dear friend til the next journey.....

esta birada....

~janel

on another note... happy & sad in one.

I attended an event this morning. My whole family was there, honored guests and politicians, but mostly the 4 branches of my family tree.

I love my family with all my heart, I love that they support one another, and that they are there for eachother. Their vibe of love is present when it really counts. I am happy for that, really I am, I proud to be part of it, and I will do my very best to show how grateful I am to my father's cousins and will always be there for them and their families.

I am sad because my dad who passed away 7 and half years ago would have loved it! He would've enjoyed every part of it and when it ended would've gone up to his cousin Ping and teased him for crying at the podium.

My dad was awesome and seeing all his cousins there together made me think of him, I was about to tear up as I did my "rounds" to amen and kiss my aunts and uncles. It really does make me sad knowing that he is missing all these memories with these guys, man he really did enjoy his time with his family every single one them. He joked around with them, teased them alot, but still they didn't act like cousins, first off they were friends. I envy that. I wish I had that with my first cousins. I have that with my second and third cousins, unfortunately the ones who share half my blood I don't have that.

if only happy pills were sold over the counter.....

Life would totally be more tolerable if happy pills were sold over the counter.

It just really sucks when everything in the life lived once is going great, your having fun, everything is just perfect then something in your life crashes and BOOM you feel like its done, its over, whats the point, I can't take it, I just can't deal.

Its ok, the living day by day, look at the glass half full way of thinking could help, but really god there should be some kind of warning. I know I know god Karma is a real bitch, but seriously now atleast a little heads up or should we all just expect our world to start crumbling as soon as we hit cloud 9? I guess that is the case and I should know by now after 29 years that as its all good, I will come across major bumper to bumper traffic.

Insomnia is not fun...

ok why can't there be a quick fix to insomnia? This has been going on for about a month now and you know what it has to stop. Is there a patron saint for insomnia? I'm soo giving up on meds, old wives remedies and what not. Tried it all. I even closed all the typhoon shutters in my room to make it dark, I covered little lights up used duck tape on the light for the AC, my room is total darkness. Still can't sleep.

So any advantages to insomnia? only one. Catching up - on reruns, news online oh and most especially episodes on America's Best Dance Crew 3. I am a Beat Freaks fan. feel bad for Fly Kicks but oh wells next season.

I noticed something on this new life schedule, why is it that they have a habit of showing repeats of movies already shown during the day? Jeeze its enough I can't sleep, I have to watch the same movie again too! Come on now, seriously the guy who does movie line up for MCV must have the middle name BOREDOM!

I really like sleeping, man it used to be like the only hobby I had. Why can't I sleep? I will still be up when mr. sun wakes up, but for those who can sleep, I will say good night. I am going to watch grease 2 for second time today.

~janel

ash wednesday

So I went to mass this morning for ash wednesday and was shocked to see the attendance.

People who usually attend mass at the Cathedral or San Vicente Church was there at San Jose Church.

If I was told that I would attend mass at San Jose church when I wasnt told to or obligated to attend a special mass then I would say your nuts.

Today I enjoyed the mass, not only was I comfortable but I was also feeling the welcoming vibe. ha ha even Pale Jesse's surmon/lecture was cool. I liked the fact that he basically told people to attend mass when they give special intentions like wtf man why expect someone else to pray for your cause... great job Pale Jesse you tell them!

There will be a mass monday-friday at 11:45 at San Jose church during this lenten season I will try my very best to attend every now and then. I haven't yet decided my scarifice but I will think of something.

So the point of this blog, well there is no point but I just wanted to share that I enjoyed the vibe at San Jose church this morning.

Why Blog

Welcome welcome

So why blog? I have nothing better to do at work and well I have a totally random brain that just has bursts of brilliant ideas, thoughts, and schemes all the time. I might as well document all that so one day when I finally enter the psych ward it won't be a sudden diagnosis it will be traced back as far as now ha ha.

For now this is all I will write, most of the time you won't get what I wrote til like later, for normal people it takes a while, but for the few elite, gifted, borderline crazy you will get it.

So take care, til the next journey, hopefully soon =)

~janel