on another note... happy & sad in one.

I attended an event this morning. My whole family was there, honored guests and politicians, but mostly the 4 branches of my family tree.

I love my family with all my heart, I love that they support one another, and that they are there for eachother. Their vibe of love is present when it really counts. I am happy for that, really I am, I proud to be part of it, and I will do my very best to show how grateful I am to my father's cousins and will always be there for them and their families.

I am sad because my dad who passed away 7 and half years ago would have loved it! He would've enjoyed every part of it and when it ended would've gone up to his cousin Ping and teased him for crying at the podium.

My dad was awesome and seeing all his cousins there together made me think of him, I was about to tear up as I did my "rounds" to amen and kiss my aunts and uncles. It really does make me sad knowing that he is missing all these memories with these guys, man he really did enjoy his time with his family every single one them. He joked around with them, teased them alot, but still they didn't act like cousins, first off they were friends. I envy that. I wish I had that with my first cousins. I have that with my second and third cousins, unfortunately the ones who share half my blood I don't have that.

if only happy pills were sold over the counter.....

Life would totally be more tolerable if happy pills were sold over the counter.

It just really sucks when everything in the life lived once is going great, your having fun, everything is just perfect then something in your life crashes and BOOM you feel like its done, its over, whats the point, I can't take it, I just can't deal.

Its ok, the living day by day, look at the glass half full way of thinking could help, but really god there should be some kind of warning. I know I know god Karma is a real bitch, but seriously now atleast a little heads up or should we all just expect our world to start crumbling as soon as we hit cloud 9? I guess that is the case and I should know by now after 29 years that as its all good, I will come across major bumper to bumper traffic.